A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, “If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I’d be a little bull.” The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on, “If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick.” The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, “What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?” The kid smiles and says, “I’d be a bus driver.”
A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him, “Sorry about your weight.”
Tom: “Were you born on the highway?”
Jerry: “Uh no, why?”
Tom: “Because that’s where most accidents happen.”
Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you’d still be stupid.
Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?
Girl: “Girls are better than boys.”
Boy: “Then why did God make boys first?”
Girl: “Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.”
Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?”
Boyfriend: “You’re both.”
Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”
Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly.”